this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2025
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it's weird, i don't think i've had this urge. i have an urge but i don't know what it is.
I've never considered myself an artistic person, but many years ago I was laid off and had a few months of time to fill, and in a surprise to myself, I started making pixel art animations and absolutely loved it. It fulfilled some sort of latent creative need that I didn't realize was there until I had the time.
I think many of us would be surprised at what parts of our personalities come out when not suppressed by the daily grind.
i spent the last six months doing nothing at work because there was nothing for me to do, and i've just been doing "code doodles". snippets that don't do anything. i don't think it's because i wanted to make them, i just wanted to look like i was doing something. my proof is that now that i've been laid off (because there was nothing for me to do), i don't find myself wanting to do anything in particular, but wanting to do something. every single thing feels forced, but when i try to get my brain to actually tell me what it is i do want i just get nothing.
If you're taking suggestions - I enjoy making things, quite often what I enjoy is looking at something someone else (or some company) made and figuring out how to do it myself/build the skills necessary to do it/improve on the original design.
i will always take the option to watch other people do things. whenever i try to do it myself it always turns to shit.
Haha, that's fair, but it's also how we get better.
Do you have ADHD by any chance? Because I do, and that sounds kinda familiar.
That constant urge to be creating something. Or more to the point; to have already created something, something that wasn't the thing you have to work on for your wage.
I mostly manage to quieten that urge by doing a weekly radio show.
i would love to know. the official stance of public healthcare here is that "if you can function in society, evaluation of a diagnosis is not needed". and getting it done through a private actor costs money that i can not spend right now.
Sometimes finding the right thing, on a day that you have the right energy and focus, is the hard part. A lot of people face something similar when they enter retirement.
i've faced it since age 10. i've always wondered how people create.
Art is just doing something for the pride of it. A carpenter or electrician can be an artist. People express art in countless ways. I think it would be very unlikely you aren't an artist in at least one aspect of your life.
god i wish
If given an opportunity, I think you would. Maybe not right away, but of you didn't have to work, I think you'd build something instead of just playing video games or watching TV, because that gets old.
Some options:
All of that is art. Art is just building something for the sake of seeing it exist rather than to pay the bills. Chances are that if you could choose your work instead of whatever you're doing now, it would include creative expression.
i don't understand where people get this idea that they know me
I don't know you specifically, but people I do know generally have something they'd like to create. I think those that don't would if given enough of an opportunity (i.e. not a week or two off work, but several months).
we'll see won't we