Asklemmy

I don't want to die, but if I could un-exist like Marty McFly disappearing from a photograph I would choose it in an instant. I have a pretty privileged life but, even for me, if I try to honestly inventory my experience there appears to be more suffering than pleasure. I don't think this is unfair or unnatural, I believe suffering is integral to being alive because it's how organisms respond and adapt to a world that is constantly trying to dis-organize them. Basically you can't have life without it, given the laws of physics.

I don't think "humans are a virus" is correct because it's a pejorative and I don't think viruses or humans are inherently bad. If I was going to classify anything as bad it would be the capacity to suffer, which is so foundational it actually informs the concept of "bad" rather than they other way around. I think suffering also becomes more acute the more processing power you have. Unfortunately for Agent Smith, the "virus" is intelligence and the machines already caught it.

I admit my ideas are probably half-baked on this because I just don't feel articulate or intelligent enough to describe it. All I have is my own experience. As far as I can see, it appears that more complex animals have a greater capacity for suffering than less complex ones. It seems that the mechanisms of suffering are "body stuff", mainly nerves, and more complex organisms simply have more of those in more robust configurations. This might just be cope, because the alternative is horrific. As a kid I looked through a microscope and saw an entire world of rotifers and paramecia ripping each other apart, struggling for energy, and realized that if all organisms can experience the same "level" of suffering than we are truly in Hell. It was literally inconceivable.

I don't care for the "antinatalist" label. I admit that suffering is hard to quantify and may be totally subjective. This is why I don't mind what other people choose to believe. It's none of my business. Based on my subjective experience I will not be doing so. Sometimes people pry into why I don't have kids and I am forced to expose my beliefs. Suddenly, in their eyes, I become an evangelist. I'm not. They won't engage with the notion of 'the non-existent mind". They constantly argue from the position of a hypothetical mind that chooses stuff. Eventually they think I'm suicidal because in their mind dying and non-existence are the same. They also get angry and insulted even though I'm leaving more resources for their own children by not having my own which, by their logic, should be good. So I just don't bother. Do what you want. Maybe they are right.