Asklemmy

@Cowbee@lemmy.ml

This reply of mine is probably going to diverge a lot from the main subject, but you suggested that I should "get organized and try to move towards socialism".

Politically speaking, I live in a country (Brazil) where we already have nice relations with PRC and a country that been trying to counteract the Global North through BRICS.

So, to a certain extent, there's some effort in this regard from the current government in the country I was born in, but Brazil is still a marionette of USian interests since USA pulled Brazil to their side during Cold War (1964 Military Coup, orchestrated by USA).

And Brazilians themselves are politically divided, with a significant part of the country advocating for their own economic slavery (far-right). Partly because people are held captive by a system that conceals knowledge from them, making them too busy with the "rat race" alongside the panis et circensis, so they rely in out-of-the-shelf opinions without pondering broader. When I try to talk with those geographically around me trying to wake 'em up, it's as if I was talking in Sumerian or Akkadian, anything but contemporary language.

Then, there's the religious aspect, very strong around here. Brazil is highly christian, while I went to Left-hand Path (highly-personalized syncretic spirituality involving Luciferianism and other esoteric beliefs) a few years ago, quite the opposite... If I couldn't "convince" people back when I was still a christian, it's worse now while I'm literally worshiping their "enemy". Can't really belong to secularists, either, because I got a belief in the supernatural, even though my belief tries to consider scientific facts.

So I doubt I can "get organized". My worldview is very atypical, I'm very atypical. In fact, I'm just nobody. You're likely the second person this week suggesting I got some kind of power when I got none. I can't even have power over myself, let alone over other people (and I don't even want to).

While I do talk and participate in discussions regarding the sociopolitical, philosophical and the mundane sometimes, trying to understand and be understood, trying to share knowledge while also trying to learn, open to what I don't know yet, deep inside I got extensively de-realized and depersonalized, accepting how even the whole cosmos will end someday (Big Freeze / Big Rip / Big Crunch / Big Bounce), and I can't see purpose except beyond existence.

It's not about "ceding agency to those who would perpetuate the worst excesses", it's just that I went too far into staring at the Darkness and seeing how cosmic existence is pointless and fleeting, so deeply that I can't simply "unsee" and/or forget Her stare back at me, so everything became fleeting. It's my inner battle that's already lost, because ain't no battle, no spoon, nothing but the nothingness... And my weirdness before others... And Nature, Moon, Earth and Cosmos as closest manifestations of Her principle.