The Onion and other satire w/ layers

With the attribute far outpacing characteristics such as humor, kindness, or wealth, a poll released Monday by Monmouth University found that the most desirable quality in a romantic partner was being a jacked centaur. “Among our sample of over 40,000 respondents, by far the most coveted trait in a potential significant other was being a half horse, half man with a totally shredded physique,” said Professor Ryan McDonald, who oversaw the survey in which individuals who had the torso of a muscular human male and the lower half of a powerful wild stallion were rated approximately 200 times more attractive than those who exhibited only one of those features in isolation. [...]