transgender

2391 readers

2 users here now

Welcome to lemmy.ml/c/transgender! This is a community for sharing transgender or gender diverse related news articles, posts, and support for the community.

Rules:

Bigotry, transphobia, racism, nationalism, and chauvinism are not allowed.
Selfies are not permitted for the safety of users.
No surveys or studies.
Debating transgender rights is not allowed. Transgender rights are human rights. Debating transgender healthcare is not allowed. Transgender healthcare is a necessity.
No civility policing transgender people. Transgender people have a right to be angry about transphobia and be rude to transphobes.
If you are cis, do not downvote posts. We don't like you manipulating our community.
Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
For both cis and trans people: Please alter your username (if possible) to include pronouns (or lack thereof, or questioning) so no one misgenders anyone. details. This rule is important for maintaining a safe place. If you can't change your ID, please let a mod know and include it in your bio.
Leftist infighting is not allowed.

Please remember to report posts that break any of these rules, it makes our job easier!

If you are looking for a more secure and safe trans space, we suggest you visit https://hexbear.net/c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns. While we will try our best, lemmy.ml/c/transgender is far more open to the fediverse, and also to trolls. One of the site admins of lemmy.ml, nutomic, is also a transphobe, while hexbear is ran mostly by trans people and has a very active trans community.

founded 6 years ago

MODERATORS

darth_tiktaalik@lemmy.ml

Diva@lemmy.ml

marcie@lemmy.ml

pooberbee@lemmy.ml

BountifulEggnog@lemmy.ml

Edie@lemmy.ml

What advice should I tell my friend? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 5 days ago by atheqtpie@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/transgender@lemmy.ml

3 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/31693938

I (trans man) have a best friend (cis man). Today, he texted me, saying that he encountered one of his friends (cis man) and the friend's boyfriend (trans man).

While I see the friend's boyfriend as quite androgynous leaning masculine, my best friend thinks he looks rather feminine and "just like a girl".

He still is trying to understand LGBTQ stuff, especially since he has had a transphobic, homophobic upbringing.

Anyway, my best friend called the boyfriend "she", so he replied with "I'm a guy, actually."

This confused my friend, apparently, and he said "How was I supposed to know when he looks so feminine?"

What is some advice I can give my friend? He's trying to understand, like I said, and I fully acknowledge and believe we are ALL guys. Everyone involved in this post. Me, my friend, his friend, and the boyfriend.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] knightly@pawb.social 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Give him the gentle primer, "Can't always judge a book by it's cover, if you make an honest mistake then accept the correction with a quick apology and move on. It does suck the first few times it happens because it feels very personal, but that's how we train out our systemic biases so we can make better assumptions or know when to ask in the future. There's no shame in learning."