this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2025
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Asklemmy
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Definitely not.
My mental issues developed at around middle school age for reasons totally unknown to me. I stopped talking to most people and had extreme social anxiety. I couldn't relate to my peers, didn't know how to speak to them, and had extreme fears of what they thought of me. I never fit into the mold of a stereotypical girl who was feminine and I never knew how to or was interested in figuring out how to look presentable/stylish like other girls would. I never developed an attraction to the opposite (or even same) sex, which was confusing and felt slightly alienating to be different from everyone. I would chant berating words to myself in my head for some reason all day when walking between classes. I pushed away the one friend I had like an asshole because I was afraid of social ramifications.
In late middle school/early high school, I discovered that there were communities of people online. I felt extremely comfortable communicating there (text only...was never comfortable with voice), and I credit those communities with helping my sanity for loneliness and also teaching me about how to communicate with others.
But I never really learned to make friends in person. Occasionally, someone in high school would try to befriend me but I literally did not catch on. Behavior like people randomly wanting to sit next to me or chat with me confused me. It is only after the fact that I realized they were trying to befriend me.
I have no idea why that happened with me. I was never bullied.
There was a group of girls that I grew up with that eventually shut me out which was very hurtful, but I don't know that it really happened before I got all weird to trigger it. I think when I got weird, they noticed and shut me out.
Some of us just ended up crazy for no discernible reason I guess.
I get that puberty can be a rough time for everyone, but I didn't really notice other peers having the same degree of social impairment as me. My siblings growing up did not either. I actually asked my mom not to have a graduation party for me (because I didn't have any friends but I didn't tell her that).
I'm in my 30s and still interact primarily online, but I would say I am significantly more adept and comfortable at interacting with others in person. In a work environment, I am totally comfortable and confident. In a party environment for example, I freak out.
I'm kinda envious of your username
Thanks! It's because I'm so cool and popular! ;)