this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2025
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That's fair, and I would never say that youth are idiots or shouldn't be listened to. That's not true at all, I think they can have many valuable things to contribute to society, the conversation, the world, etc.
I'm strictly speaking about them as a romantic partner with such an age gap, especially one that starts when they're 17/18 and the person they're dating is in their 30's or more. Nobody can convince me that that would be an equal relationship for both parties. I've attempted it in my late 20's dating a few 18/19 year olds, and then again attempted it in my mid 30's and it was a significantly worse experience.
They weren't bad people in any way, or stupid, or immature in the pop-culture sense of the word. But the relationship was never going to work out, and it was because no matter which way you slice it, a mid 30's man and a 19 or 20 year old girl are not at the same place in life. If they are, then it's the older person who never grew up and is still behaving like a teenager.
All agreed! At 52 I considered a relationship with a 26-yo friend. If she didn't have 3 tiny children, maybe? But no, just couldn't see it working. I'd be 80 and her at 54? I'd be robbing her of her youth when she could have had a younger man to share that life with.
Funny enough, my Filipino wife is 6-months older than I, and she was fucking horrified to learn that. Her friends are all married to white dudes 20+ years older. Cultural thing. :)