this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2025
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Anon dates a 19 y/o (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 15 hours ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 1 points 40 minutes ago* (last edited 35 minutes ago)

I date/have sex with who I'm physically attracted to. Otherwise I'm OK if we just stay (non-sexual) friends. Us having stuff in common doesn't make me horny for them or want to romance them.

If we have nothing in common because of an age gap, then the sexual relationship becomes a reason to learn about them. As long as we agree with each other on politics.

That said I have no expectations, admittedly atm all I've been getting is one night stands every once in a while and I'd like deeper relationships (I'm poly). But fuck maybe I just wont get one. shrugs I'll just keep trying until I get one.

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

And now you understand why older men dating young girls is creepy, even if legal.

They have nothing in common. There's no way. It's pure physical attraction above all else.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 14 points 2 hours ago

Or both sides like to learn from each other and grow towards each other over time?

There are worse reasons why an extreme age gap is seen as creepy, "not knowing each others interests" is not one of them.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 9 points 1 hour ago (3 children)

I'm 54 and most of the people I know are in their early 20s. We get along great and have plenty to talk about.

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 minutes ago

Sure, but there's a difference between hanging out with some 20 year olds, and being romantically involved with them.

The latter requires a hell of a lot of maturity and being in a similar place in life to deal with things life throws at you. The former just requires laughing at some meme together you both find funny.

[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

Yeah, I’m in my mid 30’s and my best friend is nearing 50. His oldest child is the same age as my younger brother. Believe it or not, people can have common interests that aren’t entirely reliant on their age.

Though I will say that age becomes less relevant as you get older… A 29 year old dating a 19 year old is pretty universally creepy, but few people would say the same about a 49 year old dating a 39 year old. Same age gap, but it’s assumed that the 39 year old has enough life experience to actually make their own decisions. Even in my mid-20’s, I was looking at 19 year olds as if they were literal children. There’s a lot of maturing that happens in the late teens and early 20’s.

[–] mineralfellow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Half your age + 7 is a reasonable formula for determining creep factor.

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world -1 points 51 minutes ago* (last edited 51 minutes ago) (1 children)

Acquaintances/Friends and "dating" are not the same.

[–] HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 2 points 46 minutes ago

What if you like having sex with your friends?

[–] kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

I dated a 19 year old at 22 and even in that relatively minor gap there was palpable divide in mindset and priorities. I was looking to start a career and get my life established. She graduated high school a few month prior to turning 19 and just wanted to get high and watch musicals.

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 5 points 1 hour ago

That's the mindset of plenty of people at 25 or 30 even. I think personal development/priorities are to blame more so than the age gap

[–] DeadMartyr@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I was barely 23 and am currently dating the same girl I met who was 19. (Its about to be 2 years woo!)

I had just gotten out of military so most girls in my classes were 3-4 years younger and I wasn't interested in dating (I like women a bit older than me) but she wreckingballed into my life because she saw something she wanted and actively attempted to get it.

This is the best relationship I've ever had but I won't deny that sometimes the response I get to something serious and wanting to plan ahead is met by my partner suggesting I move into the city (alone) to be closer just so she knows what it's like to have a boyfriend in the city.

Her focuses right now are being young and getting her excitement now before she has to square away. She used to think everyone has a stoner era and that was just what people did, so she was surprised how anti-drug/vice I was. The mental divide is definitely something I would warn people about when dating with age differences.

I dont understand the guys that date fresh 18 year olds in their near 30's, I know its legal but I genuinely dont understand what a 30 year old would find so interesting about an 18 year old other than just trying to bang/control them.

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 1 points 10 minutes ago

In our modern world, i often forget that some guys like to date older too. I have a crush on a guy a couple years younger than me and have just kind of not done anything because we are coworkers and I fear he'll reject me for who i am, but thanks for the reminder

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 13 points 3 hours ago

The brainrot is real, even with "old hags". My ex was 3 years younger than me, but she was an avid tiktok scroller. I was often being shown and taught about new "memes" that everyone promptly forgot about by the next week.

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

What does that mean ? mid fr fr ? doesn't fr mean for real ?

Mid must mean "underwhelming"

And big mood ? that's very obscure

[–] GandalftheBlack@feddit.org 2 points 1 hour ago

I think big mood is a relatable mindset

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

people both younger and older than me talk like this and I just want to go anywhere else every time I hear it

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 7 points 4 hours ago

I once made the mistake of dating someone 12 years younger than me (she was 25). Man, what a mistake, nevermind the cultural differences, her emotional maturity was....intolerable, and this from a person I'd considered a friend for a year already. It was the first and last time iv ever done that.

[–] sleen@lemmy.zip 20 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

OP doesn't understand what cultural progression is. Of course different people gonna do stuff differently as time progresses, the class she was when you where in high school is just irrelevant.

This is the case where op just has skill issue, and is stuck in the past like a boomer he is.

[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 22 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

When you call someone born in the late 1990s a boomer though. It might be "hip" or "trendy" to do. But Boomers were born in the 50s man. Young kids calling adults from different generations "Boomers" just makes you sound like you didn't pay attention in history class.

[–] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 2 points 15 minutes ago (1 children)

Language transforms. Where before boomer would be a word for the generation born during the babyboom, nowadays it's used for old people who are unable to keep up with the times.

[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 1 points 4 minutes ago

I mean I guess, but we have generations named for a reason. Calling everyone that's old a boomer just makes you sound like you don't know what you're talking about IMO. To each their own I suppose.

[–] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 3 points 5 hours ago

Born in the 1900s? What'd you do before they invented fire? Ride dinos?

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 2 points 5 hours ago

Ironic...

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