this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2025
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Shirts That Go Hard
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Y'all need to stop underestimating Barbie's capacity for violence.
Barbie was a Sergeant in the US Marine Corps, where she served in Operation Desert Storm and was decorated for actions above and beyond the call of duty. She's as deadly as she is plastic.
I've heard Sir Christopher Lee declined to play her part in Peter Jackson's Barbie biopic. Too violent. "Ah Peter, do you know what it's like to eat the mandibular nerve of a nazi soldier in order to replenish your forces when you have been dropped behind enemy lines? It's a messy business, but it's necessary. I had to do it, but I didn't do it happily... in the beginning at least. Oh yes Peter. Anyway, do you know why we called Barbie "the plastic girl"? She would place explosives in very clever places. The human body holds so many secrets."
chef's kiss
It's also ignorant to chalk up Voya Nui as a "deadly island," when we have no idea what became of it. We only know that its Matoran migrated to Spherus Magna after the latter was returned to its original state.
Gotta hook Barbie up with a sculpey Samus arm cannon
Well, there's a sentence.
!brandnewsentence@lemmy.world
I imagine her slaps would cut like a knife with the ultra-slender hands.
egg slicer
Sliced up like that horse in The Cell