Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
view the rest of the comments
archived
the problem with giving the advice of not transitioning because of the political situation is that there is a very real risk of not surviving the closet ... the situation in the U.S. is not yet at the point where you will be imprisoned for being trans, but the risks of suicide are very real if you don't transition (both in my experience, but also just by the numbers)I think it's smart to stay stealth, to not be "loud and proud" right now, etc. - but I absolutely think it's important to start estrogen and not risk your life by continuing to live with the wrong sex hormones.
Also, it needs to be said: a closeted trans girl is still a trans girl. I am noticed and targeted less for my gender post-transition (despite having transitioned later in life like OP, and only been on hormones for less than two years) than I was pre-transition.
Pre-transition, I was an effeminate "man" and seemed gay, and I struggled to conform to life as a man. Being markedly queer that way put me at risk, but as a woman I'm entirely normal and nobody notices me - I am finally gender conforming in a real sense.
It can absolutely be safer for you to live as a woman when you're a woman, and less safe to live as a closeted woman pretending to be a man.
Still, the risks are there, especially in that early transition period - my point is just that being closeted isn't necessarily safer as commonly assumed. (It's also a matter of urgency, starting estrogen sooner vs later - you're asking someone to wait years to get medical help because the U.S. might end up following through with its genocidal promises? At that point the trans people won't be the only unsafe ones, queer communities in general will be unsafe, and getting out of the country will be crucial. Dealing with that situation with the wrong sex hormones in your body will only make everything worse, tbh.)
archived
When you get a diagnosis it doesn't add you to any global list, and it is not disclosed to the government. The diagnosis is a record, but it's a private medical record in the doctor's local information system. For the government to get access, they are having to subpoena records from hospitals - so they might be able to get this information eventually, but currently they are only seeking the medical records of hospitals providing gender affirming care for minors.DOGE having social security records does give the potential to target people who have changed their gender marker - and the federal government can do the same with passports. There are many ways the government can and will surveil and target their enemies & scapegoats - so don't get me wrong, risks clearly exist.
But getting your medical needs taken care of is a high priority, and doctors are even finding different diagnostic codes (and even deleting patient records) to protect their patients. There are also options like DIY HRT.
Regardless, we don't know where this is going or how long it will take for concrete risks to finally surface.
I don't know if you remember what it was like when your egg cracked, but when my egg cracked it was an extremely vulnerable and scary moment - definitely not a time when it would have helped me to have someone's anxieties about the political situation shared.
I was already scared enough to transition for so many other reasons, it is always very hard to make the decision to transition and there are very few supportive voices advocating that people get the help they need (or even framing transition as helpful, so often it's reduced to "expression" and about "living authentically" - the medical consequences being entirely stripped from the context).
Obviously OP has some hard choices to make, and it's not obvious what the right answer is for them. If they live in the U.S., the state they live in makes a big difference in how safe it is to transition and whether their medical care will be protected or not, for example.
Whether they have supportive people in their life to help, whether they have a spouse and kids, and so many other factors will play into what steps they feel they can take - but I want to be careful and not send the wrong message.
What we know, empirically, is that transitioning is the only clinically feasible option, that it is low risk and has great outcomes, and finding a path to medical and social transition is important for a trans person's health, even in times of oppression.
Even as recently as the 1970s there were laws criminalizing crossdressing in this country; trans people have been transitioning for a long time under objectively worse laws and criminalization. It's important we support one another, and that we provide the evidence and reasoning in favor of transition to counteract the default transphobic social context. The pressure to be in the closet is already very strong, as a matter of harm reduction it's important to arm people with the facts about the clinically preferable alternatives.
I'm going to delete my comments. You're right about everything. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry too, this is such a scary and hard time. 🫂