this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2025
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I've gone my whole life (I'm 35) NOT thinking I was trans but now I do, wtf am I supposed to do with this? How do I find out for sure? Am I allowed to be a trans lesbian because I'm not attracted to men? Can I even come out, when it will ruin my whole life? I'm jealous of the youth, being old sucks.

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[–] lwhjp@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 3 weeks ago

Hi there! Thanks for stopping by <3

wtf am I supposed to do with this?

I recommend transitioning. You'll feel a lot better.

How do I find out for sure?

If you think you are, you almost certainly are. But really, why worry about labels? The key question is, what do you want to do about it?

If it helps, the thing that made me absolutely certain was trying to imagine how I'd feel if I was actually a woman born and raised in a male vessel. Apart from being exactly what I was feeling, allowing myself to think of myself as a woman (even just hypothetically) felt so good I didn't want to stop.

Am I allowed to be a trans lesbian because I’m not attracted to men?

Sure! You're welcome to be a lesbian if you want.

Can I even come out, when it will ruin my whole life?

Ultimately it's your decision. You've probably already considered the worst-case scenario if you do, but people can surprise you. It probably won't be that bad!

Besides, you'll get to be a woman for the rest of your life. Isn't that worth a few awkward conversations?

I’m jealous of the youth, being old sucks.

Yeah, I know. I came out at 39. You can't change the past, but you can change the future! Pick the path that will bring you the most joy. Plus, trans people frequently end up looking shockingly youthful. Like, spookily so. There is still time.

Good luck!