this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2025
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That reminds me of an anecdote.
When I lived in Utah many years ago, we regularly had the visit of two colleagues from our London office. They would come and stay for a few days to work with us, and of course we entertained them in the evening.
One evening, we all decided to go for a curry. So we went to some Indian restaurant in Provo, UT if memory serves.
The waiters arrived - real Indians in full fake Raj regalia, as per the restaurant's theme - and took our orders.
Then they asked how spicy. The two Brits looked at each other and said in a low voice "Well, it's Utah, everything is bland here, so we'd better overdo it on the spiciness to get something halfway as spicy as a London curry."
So they announced "Nuclear."
"Are you sure?" the waiters said
"Yeah yeah. Nuclear!"
"Okay...."
15 minutes later, the waiters came back with our orders. Then instead of leaving, they turned and faced the two Brits and simply stood there with a total lack of expression on their faces.
The two went "Uh oh..."
It was the hottest curry they had ever had. They tried to put on a good show for the impassible waiters looking at them, but they quickly turned red and sweaty, and they had trouble not looking like they were panicking when reaching for the water.
We were pissing ourselves laughing π
I have essentially the same story, except it's two Americans visiting Bradford.
They knew what they signed up for.
They came there to die then.
Australian chiming in.
My favourite Indian restaurant was this little hole in the wall place (for the first three years of operation, they upgraded when the word got out). The first time I went I ordered a Vindaloo, the lovely waitress/chef that took my order asked how spicy. I was a fool and said, I like spicy food, how about a 6 out of 10. I actually made it 3/4 of the way through but the owner/other chef came out to check on me, I think because he was worried I was about to combust. It was astounding, easily the best Vindaloo I have ever eaten.
The next time I went in I ordered a white guy 4, it honestly was still fantastic, but not as good. The owner came out to say hi, asked what I had ordered this time, and he said "Ah yes we make that without any chilli.", never been sure how I should take that. For a while I was hoping to gradually increase my tolerance but I think I am topping out at white guy 9.
What is white guy 9?
The 9 out of 10 they serve people like me, it might have an equivalency for their authentic scale, I don't know. This is one of those places where when we go in for a meal there is a constant stream of people with much darker skin than us coming in to pick up takeaway and it was like that before Uber eats was in the area. Apparently it was really popular in the Malaysian student community, before our government decided to fuck over the education system to make a bunch of racists happy by limiting student visas.
I guess I was trying to figure out how this 9 compared to the 4 and the 6 from the other paragraph, haha. I get what you mean, though.
I dunno if my tolerance has ever actually increased or not. I can say I sometimes test it with a carolina reaper thing from a local restaurant, and that thing will make me actually sick, haha.
Hopefully this doesnt make me sound too ignorant, but I find Indian food hits different to hot sauce. With Hot Sauce you are trying to condense down all the different elements into a single substance its why it works so well on fairly bland chicken or with chips etc. Indian cuisine is like a palate of different flavours, so instead of having to build sour notes in they can have pickles, for sweetness take some chutney or a Raita or Lassi. Means I can handle a subjectively hotter curry than hot sauce.
That's probably a dumb take but I find that to be the case, and the larger the group the greater variety of extras can be justified and shared which makes the whole thing even better. At a 4/10 WBS (white boy scale) I get a bit of colour, at a 6/10 WBS I would be fairly rosy and have some sweat going, at 9/10 WBS I am beet red and the sweat is flowing (and I will probably pay for it the next day).
I had the pleasure of attending a Nepali wedding a few years back and I found all the food on offer there very manageable. Also went to a neighbourhood BBQ where a group of lovely Chinese ladies from Heilongjiang had prepared some dishes from their home. When I mentioned the flavour was great but it felt like it was.lacking in heat I got an immediate invitation to her house (which I sadly never took up due to life being busy) so she could make my wife and I the version that's not been "Australianised" by removing most of the heat.
Anyway all of that is a very roundabout way of saying that for someone as picky as I am about a lot of traditionally English foods, I am glad I can give other cuisines a crack.
Well then they were being stupid because obviously it's an actual authentic Indian restaurant they're going to do the spice properly.
Well, the logic was sound: Utah really is quite bland in every way - or at least it was in the 90's, not sure now - and if I was an Indian opening an Indian restaurant there, I'd tone down the spices to suit the local palates.
They added a slip 'n slide :D
βAuthenticβ Indian restaurants in the West are fuck all like food in India. Indians are not there asking for more and more chilli in their dhal to impress their mates after the pub. Itβs an India theme park for lager louts.
God forbid the waitress sitting there hearing this conversation give them more than a you sure after hearing they thought it would be bland because that's the entire town π.
Man, after hearing that conversation she probably asked for a 10. "'White man's burden' go fuck yourself sahib, have fun with the curry Mr super exotic London man."
I have also 100% had wait staff do that to me, I learned my lesson after the first time.
Had a friend try that with me in R'dam recently, his favorite Korean fried chicken place. Ordered their nuclear option (among a bunch of others), and was humiliated when he died after one and I ate the rest. TBH they were hot, but kind of hot for being hot's sake, didn't really add to the flavor/experience, which IMO is the whole point of heat.
TBF, I haven't fully appreciated an Indian dish if my scalp isn't sweating.