this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2025
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Grew up in a Football (Soccer) town. The local team was a fairly big deal and it was pretty much mandatory to be a fan if you lived there.
I was never into sports and started referring to Football as "that game where a bunch of very fit men in shorts and knee-socks, frolic in a grass-field".
It was not appreciated.
"Why would I want to watch 22 men running around in circles chasing a ball for 90+ minutes? Can't you just give them 22 balls and every one of them will be happy!?"
Also not an appreciated response, LOL
Whoever has the ball is it and all the other men have to chase after him, teehee.
It gets better than that. It's where two lines of buff men line up to checkout another line of men. The quarterback is the top position because he gets to check out his team, the opponents team, and decides who and when to give his balls to. After communicating who is going to be receiving him, both lines embrace and the other team tries to get the ball often by throwing themselves at the guy with the ball.
Sometimes they'll actually pile on each other when it's unclear if the guy with the ball has been stopped.
Edit: nonono wait.. the quarter back is a switch
Wrong football!
Hahaha holy shit. I didn't realize that. Leaving it tho cause American football sounds even gayer now.
Because it is. It is known.
My personal variation of that was "20 men running after a ball so they can put it deep inside the other team's goal hole"
Reminds me of how I always declined, when someone passed a cigarette around:
As an outside observer American football really seems keen about making guys wear really tight white pants. And every play begins with the quarterback miming wanting to reach inside some guy's butt ffs
Every team sport is really an excuse for men to touch each other.
I was never into any team sports. At first I thought it was just boring. Now I wonder if it's because I'm just not attracted to other men at all.
I don't know about that. Attraction to your sports mates shouldn't be your motivator anyway, for various reasons. Also in volleyball at least I think you're supposed to make room when it's not your time to play the ball so you're not supposed to touch anyone.
Regarding the tight white pants in American football I don't know how it's not fanservice to ogle better, which I find funny since the proportion of fans saying stupid shit like not washing their asshole because gay is probably alarmingly high
Man that's similar to my take on baseball.
Tall, super-model-fit men swing wood at balls pitched by other men.
Straight guy who enjoys baseball here -- youre not wrong!
At least baseball doesn't need to have a squad of attractive women bouncing around in skirts on the sidelines to affirm the viewers' sexuality.
It does offer about the same amount of (in)action as 'murican handegg
I remember reading an analysis of in-play vs idle time of several popular pro sports, and American football was dead last, even behind baseball.
Which is fine on its own, but pretty ironic given how so many American football fans seem to sneer on soccer for being too boring.
I always thought they put them there because without them there'd literally be nothing about the whole affair worth watching.
You know I never understood the point of cheerleaders other than being fun to look at.
Your explanation makes way more sense.
Lol this is me basically. I find sports especially areas with heavily sport focused culture off putting and honestly revolting