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If you found someone attractive, would you date them if you found out they were trans?
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
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oh interesting - I stopped using "pan" as an identity label when it started to be used to mean equal attraction to genders and words like polysexual and omnisexual came out. (Polysexual: attraction to 2 or more genders, but not necessarily attracted to all genders; omnisexual: attracted to all genders, but to varying degrees.)
To be honest I got tired of labels that had such different meanings among different groups, and I didn't like the idea of ceding "bisexual" to the transphobes, so I just identify as "bi" now because most people understand roughly what I mean by it. Realistically I'm probably polysexual, but I don't like using a label nobody is aware of, and it's not important to me to make these kinds of distinctions.
I do think being trans could influence my attraction to someone, ironically in either direction. Being trans myself, I don't like being around other trans people because of the "second hand dysphoria" I can feel. On the other hand, the right kind of trans body can be very attractive to me - so I guess it's not straightforwardly about being trans, but generally I am less attracted to trans people because generally they remind me of how ugly and "gender fucked" I am. ๐ That's a me problem, I get it.
Yep, gender is a fuck! It's messy and complicated. I have individual preferences, but no hard lines, and I don't intend on letting that define me. I even started adding "they/them" pronouns to my acceptable pronoun list even though I consider myself cis just because pronouns aren't gender, and many people don't approve of they/them pronouns. Gender is messy, and so is attraction. It's also something that changes for many people, and that's okay too!