Comradeship // Freechat

I feel like a failure in all walks of life.

I have a 6-week old puppy that I'm struggling to care for due to my major depression. At the same time, I don't want to let her go because it'll be lonely. I make sure she eats before me, but lately she's been sick. Diarrhea and bleeding. Just recently she stopped whining when I leave her in her cage.

I tried to lift diapers for her from Walmart but they caught me. I didn't want her to be in the cage for so long so I figured if she had diapers, she could wander around. The LP man asked me to come into the room and sit down. He asked if I had an ID. I nodded and gave it to him. My mind is in a blur. I didn't say much as he was putting me in their database. I expected him to be firm, but he talked to me so gentle as if I was a lost puppy myself. He told "be careful, okay?" and not to do it again else they'd have to take me to jail. Said I'm free to go, opened the door for me and said have a good day. It broke me when I got out of there. I cried down the road. I don't know what prompted him to respond so gently to me. I guess they're trained to do that.

I struggle in envisioning anything. My world is just foggy and bleak. I don't strive towards anything. Everyday I wake up for no reason, the dog is the only reason at the moment, and even that is overwhelming. Still I love her, but she deserves better.