this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2025
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I bet this sounds like a stupid question - especially coming from a man. However, NoStupidQuestions doesn’t allow NSFW topics, so here I am - bear with me.

I genuinely don’t know what this feels like from the inside. I see so many men go to extreme lengths to chase women - sometimes even risking their careers or relationships just to get laid. Some are literally willing to pay for it. I don’t get it. What does that pull actually feel like?

I’m not judging - I’m trying to understand. I only know what it looks like from the outside, but I have no idea what it’s like on the inside. I’ve had sex multiple times, and it’s fine, but it seems vastly overrated to me. Clearly, I’m not getting out of it what most other men are, so I’m trying to understand the baseline experience.

My motivation for asking is that I’m working on myself and hoping that, eventually, I’ll be able to feel even a fraction of that same pull. However, with things like lifting weights, I at least have a clear image in mind of what I’m working toward - but it’s harder to define that when it comes to subjective experiences.

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[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

For me, as someone with serious libido issues, its unbearable, I want it constantly and cannot sate it. I get maybe 15 minutes of clarity after getting some, then my brain is back to see immediately after. Its a curse for me, I've been talking to a doctor but I don't know what to do. Honestly, it feels good, like really good. But afterwards I feel terrible, like why did I want that so much? But I feel like my experience is an odd one.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 points 2 days ago

Right there with you buddy. Unfortunately I don't have an answer other than trying to hyperfocus on other things and avoid shit that gets you going.

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world -4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So a medication I take increases libido. I already had a very high libido.

What helped a lot was having an iron will.

What helped more was having that will forged into steel by having my hand and arm injured. I have become like a monk now at holding it back and keeping focus.

Bonus points I can now basically get through pain or missy anything through sheer willpower alone (note: this could be a bad thing too, like not throwing up when you ate something bad and should have).

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world -1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Is this some sort of alpha male post? Wtf are you on about?

[–] Interstellar_1@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Looks to me like they are on about some shared life experience

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world -2 points 3 days ago

That is not how that reads