this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2025
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I can't see any of these working as intended. Clowns don't subscribe to reality
Some of them cause a big distraction that accidentally points directly towards those you don't want to be seen.
One of them will look giant and big to hide you while the others honk and gesture/point behind, clearly showing where you are.
Crabs in a bucket. None will let you climb. You must stay to hear their jokes...
Shaving cream pies. Ain't nobody got time to bake 30 coconut creams
They all blow up helium balloons to help it float. Unless you want it to float in which case their balloons turn into bowling balls at the last second with a big shrug.
See balloons
Clown car logic. You're all "crushed" but it's just extremely difficult terrain.
Luckily, most of these arguments assume living clowns. Something that can be easily remedied, it just shifts the entire problem space to doing it fast enough!
On that note, what's their EXP value?
If my PCs responded to the clowns this way, I would absolutely make the clowns demons and the "bag of holding" a portal to a circus themed layer of the Abyss. And that's the campaign now.
It turns out the ruler of this layer of the abyss appreciates your lust for violence and mass murder. That's probably not actually... good? For you?
I don't know about you, but the prospect of becoming a warlock themed around blood, flesh and clownery sounds pretty sweet to me!
I'd definitely play that campaign.
I would definitely let you play that in my campaign. Also reminds me of that bad guy from One Piece.
Immortal Clowns of Jest. Zero XP and their death only fuels development of further abilities
They just despawn and it's 1/10^(78) xp per clown.
A fraction of 1 EP for each atom in the universe.
Exactly this. Also, one of the clowns will have a trombone to play sad trombone noises at you.