You can choose to not identify as part of the queer community, I feel a similar way about my ethnic heritage. However, you will be prescribed as a member of that group by not only members of the group, but by bigots who hate those people. Even if you don't feel connected to gay or queer people, people in those communities and bigots who hate those people will both consider you as part of the community because you like people of the same gender. When looking at people in aggregate, others will group you based on traits like that whether you like it or not.

This matters to your well being because political groups tend to act in accordance with how other people in that group have acted. In the case of tankies and TERFs, both groups use arguments that appeal to queer identities, claiming that it is in the best interests of gay people to side with them and that gay people have always sided with them in positive ways. The recent history directly contradicts these claims as terfs openly ally with self described fascists. Tankies are defined by their unwillingness to question the authority and leadership self described communist states, most of whom openly discriminate against minorititized groups, like gay people.

Going back to my feelings about my ethnic heritage, I don't identify strongly as a Latina, but racists don't care what I think. They'll discriminate against me based on what they think of me. Thus, for my own well being, I am incentivized to know about the history of discrimination against Latinos.