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I don't understand why I can't be blunt.
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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Autism
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I think part of your problem actually starts even earlier, because it exists in both examples. You use you-statements. Neurotypicals hate these and feel directly accused of something. So softening the you-statement helps.
If it makes sense to you and comes more easy you can try something that is also taught to neurotypicals who look into learning about communication: Avoid you-statements and instead use I-statements that are about you and the situation, not them and the situation.
There are a lot of resources about that on the internet (because as said, even the Neurotypicals need to learn about that) but here's one example where they explain the difference and how it's perceived
But here you'd instead say "I don't like when the dogs tangle". Neurotypicals will see a problem that needs to be solved and go like "hey, I can help" instead of becoming defensive about the perceived accusation that they did something wrong. It's not a guarantee that it works but studies show a lot higher acceptance for I-statements.
I think my first reply deleted, but that makes so so much sense. I learned about that in communication class and completely forgot. for me, i like you statements because they have clear intentions and instructions, but I need to try and remember that most people don't see it that way