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this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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Star Trek
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You're not wrong, but man the Prime Directive would make a whole lot more sense if it did. The commonly misunderstood version of the PD that is intended to prevent cultural contamination is clear and simple. Given its status as the literal top rule, the actual PD—a generalized non-interventionism/pro-isolationism dictum—is oddly complex, vague, and lacking a focused objective.
I still want the story of the one mousey, overworked lieutenant junior grade whose job it is to follow-up on all prime directive violations.
Investigator: Alright, Captain, let's begin, shall we? Apparently you and your crew intervened in a labour dispute between two independent worlds, and taught the previously exploited civilization about unions, and now their entire social development has radically shifted. Is there anything in that basic statement you'd like to dispute?
Captain: Uh...when did this happen?
Investigator: Stardate 43012.7.
Captain: That was eight months ago!
Investigator: Correct. I've had an entire backlog to work my way through, and this is the earliest I was able to address your situation.
Captain: Five months ago my entire ship was trapped in a time vortex and we all deaged to adolescence.
Investigator: ...I did think you looked rather young.
Captain: We don't even have any memory of those events, but it does sound pretty dope. Surely you can't hold us responsible for actions we haven't yet committed, and might not actually commit if we were put into similar circumstances again.
All of this could be avoided if they'd just rename it to the Mind Your Own Business Directive.
One of my favorite formulations of the PD comes from an old text adventure game, Star Trek: The Promethan Prophecy: "You can look all you like, but don't touch."
"We'll just see about that, won't we Mister?"
- James T. Kirk