Is it wrong for a guy to want equal contribution in a relationship where both people work? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by jerryjigglemeyer@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Let's say both the guy and girl make the same amount of money and are both good at and enjoy cooking and cleaning.

Would it be wrong for a guy to want the girl to give equal contribution financially to the relationship if he's also willing and capable of contributing equally to domestic duties?

In this same scenario, would it be wrong for him to expect her to cook and clean if he's expected to handle the financial aspects of the relationship?

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[-] Sukisuki@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Both parties should contribute equally.

That being said it's a grey area. When I was out of a job and my bf worked 12 hour shifts, and came home exhausted and defeated, I didn't mind doing all the work in the house. He did the same thing when I was working and he lost his job. Etc.

It's more like "I can do this if you don't have the time/energy" and less like "I am required to do this because he is required to handle finances" though. Every relationship is different so this would be better answered in relationship_advice, with context and background explained

[-] jerryjigglemeyer@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

That's kind of what I meant. Didn't articulate it well enough. I see it as like a "hey, because my partner is doing this for me, I WANT to do this for them." Reciprocation of effort. Not necessarily just finances. I've been in situations where I felt like I was putting in more effort and it wasn't being reciprocated. So I was wondering if it was fair to expect equal reciprocation in a relationship where both people are able to contribute the same things

[-] WookieMonster@midwest.social 3 points 1 year ago

Handling the finances (assuming the money to pay for mortgage/rent, utilities, groceries, etc. comes equally from you both, which it should if you are making similar amounts) in no way is equal to the effort involved in doing all of the housework. I don't think that's necessarily what you're saying, but I have heard it argued before so just want to make that crystal clear.

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this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2023

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