Searching for the Last Lesbian Bars in America (yewtu.be)

submitted 1 year ago by Five@beehaw.org to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

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San Francisco, New York, Washington DC, and New Orleans are four of the biggest gay party meccas in America, yet the cities' lesbian bars keep shutting down. Why are lesbian bars dying while gay male clubs continue to thrive? Is it because of rising rent prices, the stereotype of lesbians moving in after the first date, the rise of the trans rights movement, or something more complex? Broadly host JD Samson travels across America to find the answer.

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[-] distractedcactus@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Apologies for not being as clear as I could have been. My thinking behind that sentence was not about negative responses to other people's negative behavior, but more about how adults in western societies are (most of the time) expected to be able to fully exercise their legal and social rights and have control over their response to actions in today's society. Taking the US as an example, most rights for those under 18 are mediated through their parents, while other things that people might expect those over 18 to be able to do are not actually fully available until 21 or later - like trying to get a rental car before 25.

A (grossly simplified) way to look at this idea is that people who are legally and socially acknowledged to be "adults" can remove themselves from situations that they young cannot. Whatever the social or practical constraints, an adult can cut off or leave a relationship, move to another city or state, get or leave a job, engage medical or social services, etc. for themselves and without mediation through another controlling person. And to your point, legally drink/smoke/have sex/whatever with whoever will (consensually) engage with them.

All of the above is meant to clarify my thoughts behind the previous comment, and may be wrong (or very wrong) depending on any specific person or situation.

I can't really give a good answer to your question, mostly because I'm a neurodivergent misanthrope and my typical solution to most conflict is to go away and not deal with it again (no I am not popular at parties, not that I get invited to them anymore). As someone who came to the knowledge of who I really am as an adult, I don't know what it's like to specifically need resources that I can't get without asking a parent or guardian. I do know how much it sucks to be in a situation where the only realistic solution is "wait and suffer because the other options are worse".

Sorry for not being able to end on a happy note there (see previous paragraph re: misanthropy).

P.S. There is also an argument that most of the above also practically applies for the very old, but that's a whole different wrinkle that I don't really want to get into.