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I'm hosting and using my own instance personally, but the important part is that it's decentralized and federated. Think of it like email - businesses often have their own email servers they use to communicate with yours, unlike on Facebook or Reddit where all of it happens on their servers.
Exactly, there's a difference between self-hosted networks like meshes and mostly privately hosted. It's like calling all email self-hosted, even though less than 1% of users self-host.
As far as I know, they never claimed Lemmy was entirely self-hosted. Their intention was likely to say it can be, in which case decentralized would've been more clear..
The original commenter said that "Lemmy is self-hosted". This is what this comment thread was about. It sure is decentralized, not really self-hosted, even though you can host it youself.
Edit: read another comment wrong
I'm aware of the original comment. I also agree that Lemmy can't be referred to as self hosted in the same way that Plex can, for example. I simply think they meant to say "can be" self hosted instead of "is".
Just look at their comments. They full on say it's a self-hosted platform no matter what, even though most people don't host it and all of them don't have to host it.