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this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2023
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No Stupid Questions
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Somewhat. I still have some of the visual images in my head, but the memory of how I felt at those times is gone or very faded. Often the memories feel, not exactly dreamlike, but like I am looking at a diorama or one of those paperweights that has a scene encased in resin, forever visible but inaccessible.
I've started to forget my dad's voice a bit and it scares me. I don't want to forget anything about him ever.
My therapist said that you don't really remember things, you just remember the last time you remembered them. Like a copy of a copy. And that's how memories get distorted over time. So it's like, am I ruining those memories by remembering them, like a tape you play over and over til you wear it out? Or should I play the tapes anyway in case I hit my head or have a stroke or something and lose a bunch of them?