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I should start randomly messaging people this
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this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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What the fuck is a horse going to do with prep time? That being said, I am not confident in a 1v1 against an animal with more muscles than myself, even if incrediblely fragile.
Pink fairy armadillo, on the other hand, would be absolutely obliterated by me in unarmed combat.
It will spy on your preparation. Make a plan. Make at least 7 alternative plans, each with contingencies for all your preparation. That's the horses advantage - bigger head means more space to store plans.
Of course it might get spooked by a leaf and fucking die for no reason. You never know. You can't know. That's what makes them so dangerous. To you, and to themselves.
I wish to subscribe to your zoology podcast ๐
Well, which animal would you like to hear about first?
Idunno, aardvarks? Other than their weird name and appearance, I don't know much about them, but I bet they're fascinating!
I don't know a lot about fantasy animals, but I can tell you that if you run into a group of five or more aardvarks at night, don't turn around. In the best case they'll mug you, worst case you'll become one of them. Lost my grandpa that way.
Aside from that they are probably based on kangaroos. You know how medieval painters were terrible at drawing lions? Modern physicists believe that two (or more) gods got really drunk, and one didn't want to admit to the other that they don't know what roos look like. It was probably really awkward.
Wait. That son of a bitch...
You know? I also quite enjoy your podcast. What can you tell me about kiwis
Thank you, thank you!
To start off, I am legally obligated to tell you that I'm not an expert in fruits, but I'll gladly try my best. Kiwis generally come in two variants, red and green - both very different in flavor and mouthfeel. Sadly there is no way to know which one you have until your first bite (since the outside coloration is the same), but that's part of the fun!
Both kinds of kiwis hunt in packs, but never intermingled. Green ones are more aerodynamic, which is why production of the red ones has been slowly phased out. Some people theorize that when God first created the world and humans, Adam actually had three balls. This put him at a great advantage compared to Eve, who only had two, so God made the third one fall off. This was the birth of the first kiwi!
My prep would be to meet in a field of gopher holes. And hope for the best.
That's it. That's my plan. Which is to say, no plan at all.
Decoy armadillo
Warm up the old 5th leg so it can Mr. Hands you to death.