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this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2023
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I have ADHD, too. I have the calendar hanging on the wall in the kitchen with a red pen underneath it. I just put a red dot on the day it starts. It's tiny so no one would know what it is except me
People can have severe forms of ADHD. It's typical to not be able to use a calendar.
so somehow said people can pick up their phone, unlock it, open an app, go through sone shitty ui, and enter information through a touch screen.
But they cant put a mark on a piece of paper?
Yes because the piece of paper doesn't give me a visual reminder when I forgot to make an entry.
I can tell you what would happen if I'd use such a calendar because of ADHD:
Pens will get lost.
When it's time to replace the paper for a new month or year, I would procrastinate on that. Potentially for a very long time.
I could also not use that paper calendar for anything else because I can't manage my appointments and schedules on paper (frequent corrections, reminders, paper doesn't have backups and copies, ...).
I can't take the paper calendar with me so I wouldn't have my appointments on the go. Having two calenders would exponentially grow the problems described above.
They're just selfish lazy cowards making excuses for not changing their behavior, that's all.
They want their perfect little world handed to them by someone else and they're mad that the world has agency of its own they have to actively compete with to get what they want, which does not allow them to live the passive and risk-free lifestyle they want.
Laugh at them, for they bring their suffering onto themselves.
So if I have ADHD and I can use a calendar just fine, my way is irrelevant because other people with ADHD can't?
ETA: if your ADHD is so bad that you can't make a dot on a calendar then enlist your caretaker to do it for you.
Final edit: JFC. The point of the edit was this: back in the day.people still had ADHD. Somehow, perhaps by some miracle, those women/menstruating persons WERE able to record their periods successfully. Smart phones and App (this will be shocking to a lot of you smooth brains in the comments) didn't always exist. Holy shit
Most adults with ADHD don't have 'caretakers' and have to find their own strategies that meet their own needs. Yours works for you, great, other people have different needs though.
Someone says they can't handle a paper calendar because of their ADHD.
You said although you have ADHD you can use a paper calendar.
I said most people with ADHD can't use one.
Your conclusion is I said your way of using a paper calendar is irrelevant?!
Yeah, have you tried just... being @rosymind@leminal.space ? Their experience is obviously superior, why would you want to be anybody else? /s
That's so cool you have your own kitchen!
I'm sorry that you have to eat out of a garbage can. There might be some soup kitchens around that'll be willing to help you out! You're right. I should be ashamed of myself for... checks notes... cooking
I think you misunderstood me. It's great you have a place where you can leave stuff and it doesn't get messed with. I don't have that in my life so if I want something to be the way I left it, I need to keep it with me like on my phone. I'm glad that you can use a calendar for your purposes and you have a safe place for it but not everyone has that so quit shaming people for having different coping strategies than your own.
And there you misunderstood me. I wasn't trying to shame anyone. Rather I was genuinely confused why people couldn't use a calendar.
When I first got my period that's how I learned to record it. If some emp comes along and wrecks everything all our data will be lost- but I'll still have my calendar (maybe). Menstruating people would have to learn to cope!
I just can't wrap my head around people's inability to adapt to changing circumstances. I'm not shaming them for it. Just surprised by the inflexibility and unwillingness to adjust
Edited out: "pulse" because it's redundant
Because a paper calendar isn't a viable option for everyone, which is how I started..
It's not being inflexible to understand that a particular option isn't going to work for you, or others. I'm thrilled a paper calendar works for -you- but for people like me it's not a viable option and calling us inflexible isn't helping.
Ok, fair, but there are alternatives as well. They have little pocket calendars, or you can scribble the date on a piece of paper and keep it in your purse/wallet/under your bed. Even the regular calendar on your phone can be used for this purpose- just put an emoji on the start date, or write a word like "appointment". If you have a pc or laptop there should be a calendar you can use, a word-type document or sticky notes. Or you can write the start dates on the inside of a box of tampons or pads if you use those.
Like... I totally understand the frustration that comes with losing something you're used to, but the world changes whether we like it or not. We have to adapt to the society that we live in, it isn't going to adapt to us. Again, that doesn't mean I think we shouldn't fight for change if we deem it necessary, but it won't benefit you to just be angry at it and lament what was lost