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this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2023
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Yeah exactly. Some folks pass the point of sympathy. Folks like Joseph McCarthy, people who run conversion camps, Milo Yannanopolos, Blaire White, etc. But it’s hard to hit that point. I generally draw that line after having accepted yourself or begun living as yourself. And even then, I don’t want these people dead, I want them to change and work to undo the harm they’ve done.
Targeted outing is an important tactic. It’s a way to force the people in power to own up to their hypocrisy and to stop people from hiding their true self behind hate. That’s not what this is, this is outing someone to cause them harm and to scare others. It’s an old harassment technique that’s been done as long as the internet has been around to try to hurt trans people, and it’s not ok.
Explained it the best. I hate what he did. I hate what a lot of people do. But I’m always sad to lose someone who had a chance to change.
It’s what the internet is worst at, forgiving. This person said awful things and did awful things, but if he hadn’t taken his life and had instead worked through this, I honestly believe that he would be someone alive and worth forgiving.
This doesn’t ever excuse the damage people do. I think that’s what people forget. You can forgive people without excusing their harm. But it’s always important that those who seek forgiveness both receive it AND receive it as they work to undo the harm if possible. Sometimes that won’t be possible.
Exactly. The harm is done regardless. I want us to be the side of “I changed for the better”. We shouldn’t immediately trust people or forgive them of course, that “unconditional forgiveness and trust so long as you repent and are on our side” bullshit is part of how Christians keep winding up with a bunch of pedos. But I do believe in restorative justice. Sometimes people become good after doing many bad things.
I want people to be better, so I think we need to stop punishing them for trying to be better. I’ll take former republicans, I’ll take reformed bigots, I’ll take assholes trying to be better, so long as all of them are actually striving to improve. And sometimes those people need to not be in a room so people can get a break from their not being quite there yet or because of the harm they did in the past, but that’s ok, the goal is to get them there.