I used to play with PCs 3 decades ago, and now I am a big fan of just buying something that works out of the box.

For myself, I'm happy to still spend some time setting things up - as long as they run smoothly after that. I find with out of the box solutions, you end up compromising privacy and flexibility. But, as with all things, there is a balance to find.

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I tried installing windows server 2016 0n the HPE and failed couldng figure it out lol.

Setting up the drives is usually the hard part, most of the rest is the same as a desktop PC. Networking can be a little more complicated when you have multiple interfaces.

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I am ok with needing to buy a new switch if teh netgear isnt up to the task, had considered getting a managed switch to make life easier for me anyway :)

fs108 is a 100Mbit switch, gigabit is the baseline these days. And 2.5G/5G and even 10G/25G is moving into residential these days.

Ubiquiti might be a good choice for you; for switching, routing and access points.

Gives a nice central control panel, and can turn things on and off manually or on a schedule.