We have Protestantism because an English king got pissy.

That doesn't sound right. The Reformation was the birth of Protestantism when the priest Martin Luther rejected the then Pope's abuse of power and Catholicism's manufactured distance between god and man with the priesthood in the middle.

I think you're thinking about the pissy English king that rejected Catholicism and created Anglicanism because he wanted to divorce his wife and the Pope wouldn't give him permission.