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this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2023
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"Why don't you feel comfortable about sharing?"
"Before I tell you, you have to promise not to indict me."
"..."
"Promise?"
"... okay. We promise not to indict you."
"Okay, the thing is, I may have conspired with competitors to corner the market on ticket sales and bought up 85% of performance venues to lock in performers into using me to distribute tickets. Thus giving me near total control of the market."
"Yeah, that's a monopoly. We're breaking you up."
"YOU PROMISED NOT TO!"
"No, we promised not to indict you. Commerce doesn't need an indictment to pull your articles of corporation."
"Durnit!"