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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by blueskiesoc@lemmy.world to c/adhd@lemmy.world

Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian

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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:

Thinking about how I've been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.

That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.

Habits are things that they do without thinking.

They don't have to decide to do them. They don't have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they've done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.

That system...which I lack.

Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it's been an active choice. I've had to devote thought and attention to it. It's not a routine, it's not a habit, it's something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.

Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say "bless you" when someone sneezes,

It's because I've had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.

It never gets easier.

Just more familiar.

It's part of my struggle with my weight--exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.

I got lied to about how it would just "turn into a habit". And blamed, when it didn't.

Drinking water isn't a habit. Feeding myself isn't a habit. Bathing isn't a habit.

I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.

And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?

ON TIME?

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[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

There’s something about playing that lights up their motivation centre. So it’s not so much a routine as it is an impulse that gives them a dopamine boost - like an addiction. It’s not that any of us couldn’t do it with enough focus, but it would be constant intentional action to keep working at it. And a lot of us just don’t have the long term focus for that because goals far in the future are hard to keep focused on, unless you get into hyper focus, where you just become obsessed with achieving something. The trouble is that most of us never achieve that satisfaction that something is “complete”. So when things seem never ending, sometimes we just… give up and move on to something else that seems more interesting now.

this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
606 points (88.0% liked)

ADHD

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