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this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2023
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Wait till she actually reads the Bible. She's gonna be sooooo horny after that I tell ya.
If a simple kiss gives her a porn addiction what does she think of what Lot's daughters did? Worse than a damn Folgers commercial
I love using that story to counter the "modern books are smut, have kids read the Bible" folks. Either that or the story of Dinah.
To those who don't know it. Dinah was raped. Her rapist decided he wanted to marry her and, being such a "nice guy," asked her brothers for permission. They agreed, but only if he and all men in the town were circumcised. The guy agreed and, being the prince, ordered all men to get circumcised. When all the men were "indisposed," the brothers came in, killed all the men, took the women and children as slaves, and took all their possessions.
Their father, Jacob, was angry with how they acted because they "caused trouble" and it could result in other tribes attacking them. Apparently, he was fine with his daughter being raped because the story just moves on to other things.
So this is just a normal everyday kid's story with rape, theft, and murder! Perfectly acceptable for any child to read because at least two guys didn't kiss!!!
Nobody accused Jacob of being an attentive and loving father to all of his children
Ezekiel 23:20 is gonna blow her mind.
Whoa, whoa, TIL the Catholics have translated that verse to say their THRUSTS were like stallions', but every translation I grew up with clearly specified that their emissions/their ejaculate was like horses'. What gives? Which is it!?
There is enough magic in the world for it to be both. Let me have this?
Please?
It's penises and semen all the way down.
penis
There isn't a standard Catholic translation, so which one are you talking about? I've checked the NIV, NCB, NRSV, NJB and none of those say "their Thrusts". The only one I can find it in is the NAB and that's specifically a US version that as a Canadian who grew up Catholic, I'd never heard of before!
I grew up with KJV (even occasionally "KJV-only," which is a whole thing). Then as I got older, while I was still religious, I moved to the English Standard Version and/or the New American Standard. But when I Googled the verse, it popped up the USCCB site, which had that translation. I'm not clear on whether USCCB has their own translation (?) or they're using one of the ones you referenced. I'd just never seen that translation. ESV says "issue," NAS says "discharge."
The path of the righteous man?
Check out Song of Solomon, it's literally straight-up smut.
It's a fun one for churches that insist you don't "read between the lines" of the bible. The one I grew up in said it was a metaphor for God's relationship with the nation of Israel. As opposed to the straightforward interpretation that Solomon supposedly had 700 wives and was still horny for one more.
It's a valid strategy! 😌 https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/utah-republicans-are-furious-schools