Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian
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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:
Thinking about how I've been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.
That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.
Habits are things that they do without thinking.
They don't have to decide to do them. They don't have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they've done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.
That system...which I lack.
Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it's been an active choice. I've had to devote thought and attention to it. It's not a routine, it's not a habit, it's something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.
Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say "bless you" when someone sneezes,
It's because I've had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.
It never gets easier.
Just more familiar.
It's part of my struggle with my weight--exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.
I got lied to about how it would just "turn into a habit". And blamed, when it didn't.
Drinking water isn't a habit. Feeding myself isn't a habit. Bathing isn't a habit.
I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.
And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?
ON TIME?
A fellow NT (as in undiagnosed, but have some ND traits) here with a very similar mindset. I love thinking about why I do what I do, I love having a reason to the way I do stuff and I love having an informed decision process. But I find that thinking about stuff equal caring about them, at least caring about them more than necessary. And don't you wish to not care as much all the time?
I'll put aside things like how to raise the kids or work decisions (even if I think about them more than the average person). I don't like to care so much about how the dishwasher is loaded, or the optimal placement of cups in the cupboard. At least not always and leaving things alone is also a mental decision which requires some effort.
To be clear, I'd rather be the way I am. Just wandering how other people handle it.