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this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2023
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My mother told me that she hated me. After a really dumb argument we had, as adults. I still talk to her and play nice in front of our siblings but I haven't forgiven her and I don't think I ever will. I lost a lot of love for my mother in a single day and then nothing anyone has said to me since has ever matched or beaten that feeling. How do you trump your own mother hating you? She moved on like she never said it. No apologies. Never mentioned it. You can call me every name and slur and hang me for all my fuckups and oddities, but you can't hurt me. I'm already at 0 HP emotionally
Oof. Mine wrote me in a letter that she wasn't my mother anymore. Later pretended she never meant it. 20 years pass. Then she writes me a message saying I ruined my kid's life. I cut contact then. I still miss the friendly mom she sometimes was.
My mom wrote a similar letter with all that she thought of me. I picked it up and threw it out. Idc what it said there I never will. Bitch be even more self-centred then idk who, I have my flaws but I also know to try and not take it out on other (sometimes).
I don't think she evel will be able to
Writing this kind of mean stuff, having the chance to re-read it, and then sending it anyway to ones own child is what gets me. Ugly things said in the heat of a discussion are not great, but to have the chance to sleep over it, think it through, and still going forward. Another level of mean.
To be fair she and my father where having a divorce and I reminded her of my dad a lot....lol. I understood why my dad separated when she started pulling that type of shit
I, in your stead, would fight back.
I seriously mean it. Drive up to her and explain her why she is such a stupid person. I guess that you will feel better then. It's important to always be honest, and that includes sometimes saying difficult truths.
I have come to terms with the fact that some people are too damaged to be dealt with. Their perspective and handling of life and mine just diverge too much, and any effort spent trying to align these perspectives is bound to cause more hurt.
I think about contacting her so often. Once I got a birthday message from her sister, who she lives with. I mentioned the hurt and why I was not talking to my mother, and got back more of the same emotional abuse. Both aunt and mom are lost, out there with their anger and bitterness, and it's not my job to retrieve them, as much as I would like to.
The fact she turned into a literal nazi in just a few decades (thank you facebook) doesn't help the situation.
I don't think she meant it. She probably said it in the heat of the moment and then forgot she even said it later.
Oh, you have no idea.
In an ideal world, every parent loves their child.
Unfortunately, some people do not live in an ideal world. There's a lot of parents who mistreat their children, and that doesn't exclude mothers, unfortunately.