781
More couples are choosing a ‘dual income, no kids’ lifestyle
(www.cnbc.com)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2023
781 points (97.1% liked)
News
23634 readers
2818 users here now
Welcome to the News community!
Rules:
1. Be civil
Attack the argument, not the person. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Good faith argumentation only. This includes accusing another user of being a bot or paid actor. Trolling is uncivil and is grounds for removal and/or a community ban. Do not respond to rule-breaking content; report it and move on.
2. All posts should contain a source (url) that is as reliable and unbiased as possible and must only contain one link.
Obvious right or left wing sources will be removed at the mods discretion. We have an actively updated blocklist, which you can see here: https://lemmy.world/post/2246130 if you feel like any website is missing, contact the mods. Supporting links can be added in comments or posted seperately but not to the post body.
3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.
Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.
4. Post titles should be the same as the article used as source.
Posts which titles don’t match the source won’t be removed, but the autoMod will notify you, and if your title misrepresents the original article, the post will be deleted. If the site changed their headline, the bot might still contact you, just ignore it, we won’t delete your post.
5. Only recent news is allowed.
Posts must be news from the most recent 30 days.
6. All posts must be news articles.
No opinion pieces, Listicles, editorials or celebrity gossip is allowed. All posts will be judged on a case-by-case basis.
7. No duplicate posts.
If a source you used was already posted by someone else, the autoMod will leave a message. Please remove your post if the autoMod is correct. If the post that matches your post is very old, we refer you to rule 5.
8. Misinformation is prohibited.
Misinformation / propaganda is strictly prohibited. Any comment or post containing or linking to misinformation will be removed. If you feel that your post has been removed in error, credible sources must be provided.
9. No link shorteners.
The auto mod will contact you if a link shortener is detected, please delete your post if they are right.
10. Don't copy entire article in your post body
For copyright reasons, you are not allowed to copy an entire article into your post body. This is an instance wide rule, that is strictly enforced in this community.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Choosing or forced to choose?
Choosing to not have children is becoming more and more accepted among younger people for a long variety of reasons, among them being climate and economy as well as "not going to ruin my body" and "well i just dont like children"
You pretty much nailed the entire reason for most of my friends and myself (mid to late 20s). We can all afford kids, but it's just not something anyone desires except for one or two people in our group of 14.
Most of us don't even dislike kids, but the thought of having our own is undesirable.
I struggle to understand how people can get over how terrifying and unpleasant having children is. Kids can be okay, except when they aren't, and that's often.
That is simply not true. Kids can teach you many things about yourself that you never knew you cared about. They open a part of this life you would never see otherwise. They are this thing that loves you no matter what and if you are a good parent you do not take that for granted and give it all you got.
I didn't want any for many years for all the same reasons as many here. And it changed. And it's great, for me. But if you choose not to or have doubts, don't. It's horrible for the kid.
Another thing that can happen is you can grow up able to see clearly that you're an obligation for your parents they didn't want. You feel like they're always angry with you even if you're perfectly behaved. Then they tell you they gave up their entire life for you, clearly bitter and regretting that.
There is a non zero chance I could make my kids feel this awful for existing, and that already would be a non starter. But on top of that there's like 14 other reasons.
I'm not sure what you're protesting about what I wrote. I didn't attack you. I just don't understand how people ignore all the anxiety they will certainly have with kids in addition to all the other additional anxiety if anything about the kid goes especially wrong.
Well this comment at least tells us something about how you might have felt when younger. I did not always see eye to eye with my parents but in the end, I felt like they loved me and the amount of happiness I experienced as a kid is almost immeasurable. I'm on team #nokids, but for a lot of people, the love they can experience through children is unique and powerful, and understanding that is not that much of a struggle for me.
That's the thing, having kids is a unique experience just like not having kids is a unique experience. Being an individual is fundamentally a unique experience. Yet this whole conversation gets wrapped up in normative language like this which clearly expresses social preference for the former.
When I hear someone say that having children changed them in a profound way, I don't hear anything other than "climbing a mountain is profound" or "laying on the couch all day is profound." There is uniqueness and profound cumulative existence baked into to every heartbeat, but apparently a lot of people have trouble with this simple idea.
My comment mentioned nothing about the positive sides to kids. They obviously exist. The point I was making is I am surprised so many people opt into the most anxiety I think you probably can opt into.
Fortunately we've had millions of years to evolve coping mechanisms for whatever anxieties we may feel as parents. Given that reproduction is key to life, you probably shouldn't be as surprised as you are.
For millions of years we didn't have birth control. We do now and that for sure is a huge factor. No one here is mad at you for having kids. I mean, if you don't understand how some people find it scary that a small mistake equals a dead child , okay.. I'm just on the opposite side of that feeling.
I'm good. I'm 40. Every day i despise the idea more.
Good. It would be horrible if a kid was brought into this world just because they think it's the right thing to do. It's not for everyone.
Even if that were true, it makes parents sound like they have a god complex that needs to be validated.
You don't know what you are talking about lol
We didn't impose it on them. It's biology. Maybe get some therapy. I'm going to block you. You got a whole cat in a bag vibe that isn't my jam.
Biology is bullshit. It's not an excuse. It's like saying segregation and greed are biology. Like rape and murder are. Negative things exist in our biology and creating other humans for one's need to get high off of them is one of them i assure you will be widely recognized within the next decade.
You're an idiot. There is no one creating other humans for a "asoteric high". You're own ego is your biggest flaw. Even if, you could convince someone to touch you without money exchanging you can't prove with any certainty what the other party is thinking or motivated by. And even assuming so shows how stupid you are.
Shut up when you talk about things you don't understand little boy.
It's because your brain gets flooded with parenting hormones which give you superhuman delusion tolerance for the first few years. That's why I'm always skeptical when people are like "it's hard but I can't describe how wonderful it is!"
Sure Ryan, that's totally not just the brain worms talking, I'll stick with dogs for my nurturing serotonin and I refuse to feel bad about it.
That does make a lot of sense
You shouldn't feel bad about it. Do what you think is right for yourself. On the other hand, you should recognize that you have no idea what being a parent is actually like, which in a sense means that you don't actually know what you are talking about. It's life-changing and unlike any imagining.
It's a life-changing experience that is unlike any imagining. I am a much better person for having had a kid. That said, I never found it even remotely terrifying or unpleasant, which is just to say that it's definitely not for everyone.
That is absolutely baffling to me. I mean changing the first diaper alone would kill both those "Nevers" for me. Then I would imagine 20 times every day for at least 10 years there would be those feelings. Then when they drive. Then go to college. I mean do you ever worry about anything at all?
I feel the same way, but had already had my children at 21 & 23 before I got the chance to understand the options. I love them and don't regret my choices, but I would have certainly had a life with different focuses.
I'm older, but the majority of people I know that had kids were surprised by the first.
The best thing you can do for the environment as a person in a western country is not have kids.
That's not the only reason we aren't having any, but it's certainly a factor.
Caveat: the Jesus freaks on the right know no such restrictions
That said 100% you do you
Lol, the opening plot of Idiocracy
Two wrongs doesn't make a right. Then again I have no problem polluting and using up 2 hours of shower water and take tons of baths because others who never cared are doing it. So if you're being selfish, sure, go ahead.
Neither, really. More like are choosing not to go into child debt. Having a kid costs more than having a house. Good for this generation for taking control of their reproductive decisions.
But what you're describing is an economic decision.
Was just going to say that.
Of all my younger siblings/cousins/etc, the only ones with kids were accidents. Only I chose to purposely start a family, and that took me a decade of saving.
Choosing. I hate kids.
Glad i never was one.
Why? Are you worried I wouldn't like you? Don't be. Most probably I don't even know you.
Naw i think we'd get along great! I was semi-quoting Ms Trunchbull from the 1996 movie Matilda.
Oh, I never saw it. 1996 was a weird time in my life.
Choosing. Def had the option to have kids but decided not to.
Most humans choose to breathe for oxygen, study shows.
Unlike these "reporters", you know the answer.