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Russia bans anti-war candidate from challenging Putin
(www.bbc.co.uk)
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this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2023
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Seems like Putin will get all 132% of the votes this time, since he will be the only one on the ballots.
Reporter: "Mr. Putin, how is it possible that you got 132% of the vote?"
Putin: "It is merely the byproduct of our superiour domestic mathematical sciences. The numbers are simply greater than the ones produced by foreign-made axioms. Do think of all of the great achievements our mathematicians have done over centuries, such as proving the Poincaré conjecture."
Reporter: (gasp) "Your ballot results were tabulated by Grigori Perelman?"
Putin: "No, we looked at his qualifications but we figured he was out of our reach, unfortunately. We had the results tabulated by some other weird mathematician with a massive case of cabin fever. We saved a lot of taxpayer money this way."
You see, only 39% of the population voted. 95% of the people who voted, voted for Putin. So if you extrapolate that out to the entire population, you get 37% + 95% = 132%. With math like that you can't lose!
In Soviet Russia, the election qualifies for you!
In America, voters choose president. In Soviet Russia, president chooses voters!
** Republicans vigorously taking notes ** 🤤