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You can have anything you wan...
(sh.itjust.works)
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Does this include all future invented programming languages?
No, the flip side of this wish is your knowledge is frozen in time to when you make the wish and can never be updated. You gradually become more and more outdated as you fail to grasp even the simplest of changes to all languages in current usage.
So I forever work on legacy systems.
Not ideal, but there's quite a bit of job security in it.
The upside to this is that you can still make good money as a legacy programmer. Just look at COBOL job listings.
The ol' monkey's paw
Well damn, that's kind of evil.
At that point your fame as a Rockstar Dev (I hate myself for typing that) will allow you to transition to a cushy ceo position.
Oh no, does this include all hypothetical alternate interpretations of the same code? So, you just look at the screen and go "yep, it definitely could mean something"?