Oh, well I guess they win then. Deep down they're probably good people, so we just ignore their bigotry and allow it to proliferate further and continue to make the rest of the world a worse place for people I care about.

Fuck that. I cut out my family for being bigots. I told them specifically why and I refuse to take their phone calls. You have to let people know that those beliefs are wrong and let them know that there are social consequences for continuing to believe them. America didn't pass the Civil Rights Act by waiting until people just came around and agreed with them. They said "This is wrong, and now illegal." and made them deal with the consequences (Kinda. It's still America and still pretty racist so..)

Point is, change doesn't happen by ignoring shitty behavior. This kind of behavior needs to be confronted and shut down every time. EVERY TIME.