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I think the HVAC maintenance guy just destroyed my relationship (sopuli.xyz)
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Blu@sopuli.xyz to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world
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Edit: Last night she attempted suicide. I was in the living room while she was showering. She got out of the shower, went to the bedroom, and about 10 minutes later I heard her call my name. She was holding a large handful of her medicine in one hand, and the bottle in the other. She told me she almost took it, but decided to get help instead. Suffice to say, both of us are dealing with a lot right now. She asked me not to tell anyone, but I am trying to persuade her to get mental healthcare.

So yesterday morning, while my girlfriend and I were sleeping in our new apartment, we heard some rustling at the door. This was around 8 AM or so. I heard him call out "maintenance" very faintly from the other side of the door.

I was partially awake and called out to the guy after glancing my gf's way in a "is this guy for real?" look.

Guy apologized and left the apartment after he heard me. At the time, she said she was "glad I was there".

I spoke to him later and he apologized profusely and said he wasn't aware someone had moved in already. I figured that would be the end of it. No harm, no foul.

Last night, my girlfriend informed me that I didn't handle that correctly. She said her dad would've been up and ready to fight the guy, and that by glancing her way I must've been asking her to protect me.

Despite us discussing a proposal now that we're 2 years in, she let me know she doesn't think I should "this year, but that she may change her mind".

I'm honestly baffled. Was I supposed to shoot the maintenance man or something?

It has me reconsidering the relationship. One perceived mistake--that I honestly think I handled fine--and she's putting our plans on ice.

She's been mean leading up to this. She blames her cycle (and apologizes each time), but it's a pretty extreme mood shift for a few days each month. So part of me wonders if these 2 things are related, and she'll regret saying that to me. Another part wonders if I should forgive her in the first place.

What do y'all think? How big of a mess am I in?

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[-] drippypickle@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 10 months ago

Two things. One, she needs help I agree. Two, this sounds really manipulative and suspect. Proceed with caution. I'm not sure sticking this one out is a good call.

this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2024
152 points (95.8% liked)

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