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this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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Today I Learned
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Skin tone wise, I'm pretty white. My DNA is something like 98% of European ancestry. However, I was born and raised in the USA, but to Cuban immigrants. My first language was Spanish and I use all of the slang because that was the only language used in my house since my parents never learned English. I speak with my hands. When I speak Spanish to Hispanophones, they comment on how thick my Cuban accent is. When I hang out with new people, there's a good chance someone will ask me where I'm from. Basically, there's something about me that tells people I'm not a typical White American.
I have been to Cuba about 20 times. I can wear my Cuban cousin's clothes and catch a local bus in the remote parts of Havana in which we are literally packed to the practical max. It's so packed, you dont need to hold anything to stay standing because you couldn't possibly fall, and unless you're right underneath the bar, you couldn't reach it anyway. This is where no tourist would ever think to go. Yet, someone will still recognize me as a foreigner. WTF? There's something intrinsically American about me.
I'm reasonably pale. In Argentina, nobody notices me unless I speak. In Mexico, I don't get a chance to speak Spanish.
I confuse people in Argentina because I have olive skin and dark curly hair, and I speak Spanish with a porteño accent, however my Spanish is only barely at the "simple conversations" level
There are also full on gingers walking around Buenos Aires so nobody really pays attention much to skin color when deciding where they are from. You get it all down there.
On the other side of this, I’m white as they come, born and raised in the Midwest by very white parents also born and raised in the Midwest.
People ask where I’m from way way more often than they should, in my own home state. Where I spent all but 5 years of my life.
I have no clue why, but they don’t think I’m from the US.
Some possible related things - When I was a kid people used to tell my mom I look “exotic” and I still don’t know what that means in relation to my appearance; I look like everyone in my dad’s family. I spent a couple years in California and a couple years in Texas, and learned Russian, Spanish, and Japanese (and a spattering of phrases and grammar from other languages, almost none of which I remember), plus consume a fair bit of foreign media. But I don’t really think I picked up accent features, at least none I’ve had anyone able to pinpoint.
Either way, that conversation always turns into a slog of “there’s just something that tells me you are from somewhere else, are you sure I’m wrong???”
Honestly, that can do it. Even if it's completely indiscernible to you, people that spent their whole life in one place will pick up on tiny things in the way you speak or gesture and often wouldn't be able to describe why they think you're from somewhere else.
Did you ever ask what gave you away?
Yeah, but I never got any definitive answers. They would just be vague and say it was something about me.
Body language. It is an unconscious behavior that people adopt in a culture.
If you travel to enough places and are observant, after a while you can pick out the cultures where people are from without a word.
Could be you smelled American.
The giant weed cloud that follows me around was a dead giveaway.
Huh, wonder what the subtle body language was?
This might be offensive, but I want everyone to know that my intentions are innocent. I'm only expressing how I think. If I do say something offensive, I would like to know so that I could work on it because I want to get better at understanding in an inclusive and fair manner. Because I even thought to write this disclaimer, I'm guessing there probably is something offensive, so if there is, please let me know where I'm being a jerk.
From my experience noticing other people's body language in both countries, people in Cuba seem wayyy more laid back and free with their body language. In the US, it seems like people are trying to meet an undisclosed standard of presenting as "having it together", so people seem rigid and stuck. My interpretation is that people in Cuba are more authentic with their emotions, while people in the US are more controlled. My guess is that I probably look emotionally blunted to the people in Cuba.
Not offensive in the slightest, that could very well be it.