Don't feel bad about getting "heavy". We've all got our reasons that we struggle with alcohol/have developed a dependency. I know that I've personally had the "fuck it" mentality before a night of drinking hundreds of times. You're doing well by trying to turn this around now. You're doing a good thing by taking these steps and trying to progress past it.

Yesterday during our house projects, I got suuuuupppper pissed when our new mini-blinds weren't cooperating with me, and once I got them up I was like "Fuck a beer sounds fucking awesome right now." I didn't. I WANTED to, really badly. But instead, I told my husband (who also wanted one), "Just one more day. Let's just make it through tonight, eat foods that we're craving, drink our diet soda, and see how we feel tomorrow." And there's one more day down. I get it. I think we all get it.

I do like the idea of incorporating sugar into a meal to stave off cravings. Though, I do drink diet soda now like my life depends on it, and I only switch to water when I mentally force myself to. I have been keeping chocolate around more often...maybe that's a subconscious thing? Huh.