30

This might sound pretentious or trippy. But it's just a thing I haven't found a proper answer for.

My paternal parts of the family are all dead, no aunts, uncles or cousins alive any longer. My maternal parts of the family suck, they seriously suck, no joke. I decided not to procreate (and had a "few discretions" regarding this) because I didn't want to pass the shitty genes, behaviour or guilt onto another generation.

I have an ex, some relations ago. And I really loved his mother, as a mother. I was a train wreck at one time, and she saved me and took care of me. I don't care that she isn't my real mother. But this was several years ago.

What really hurts is that my siblings and cousins tell me that what I felt for her was fake, as she is not a blood relative. As I have helped her more than I would ever have helped anyone else. I love her, but is it true love to love someone as a mother if they aren't your biological mother?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] Brennen@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

I want to thank everyone who replied. I love this woman as a mother, and I've repeatably had to explain myself to my "other" family as it's apparently not OK to disobey or not procreate. I am happy that I won't have to pass this on to a child. I would be fearful and paranoid if I had one, due to the abuse that is normalized. Yet, I am apparently less of a person as I have not produced progeny. Irregardless, thank you to the lovely people who supported me. I wish that this woman, who I wish would have been my birth mother, keeps being happy. The help I provide her with is small, but daily, such as her wifi, phone accounts, spam prevention. I don't even help my blood family with this. I feel that your comments have helped me. Thank you. I love her, and I wish she had been my mother instead of the woman who bore me.

this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2023
30 points (91.7% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35822 readers
1012 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS