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me_irl (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 months ago by robocall@lemmy.world to c/me_irl@lemmy.world
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[-] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 26 points 8 months ago

Time dilatation.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago

Interviewer: Are you suggesting that you left your previous employer at a substantial percentage of the speed of light to only slow down and arrive here at this very moment?

Candidate: I remember it like it was yesterday.

Interviewer: ::hasty note-taking noises::

[-] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 9 points 8 months ago

Interviewer: did not leave a two weeks notice

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 3 points 8 months ago

He’ll do it tomorrow.

[-] bruhduh@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

Sandevistan goes brrr

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Boy, that career pivot to an Arasaka lap-dog would be kind of rough though:

Employee Eval Form

  1. Does the employee achieve their tasks on time, and under budget?

[ ] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [ ] Often [x] Always

  1. Does the employee pay attention to details?

[x] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [ ] Often [ ] Always

...

  1. Does the employee exhibit signs of cyberpsychosis on the job?

[ ] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [x] Often [ ] Always

this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2024
1010 points (98.3% liked)

me_irl

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