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Ask Lemmy
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I don't judge users like that unless they're from some actually nasty instance. Lemmy.ml is somewhat politically aligned like you said, but it's still generally a "normal" option, with lots of "normal" users.
You can create more accounts elsewhere to see if your experience changes, but I think ml should be okay.
Edit: And I don't think carefully choosing an instance is that important. You can always go elsewhere. Just read the rules and if they seem ok, go for it.
I like the experience im having here on lemmy... I dont discuss politic neither politic views. Tbh, dont care about it. I just want to be the full experience of Lemmy, where i can see all communities and dont get blocked , since I choose lemmy.ml because when I did a sign up, Im pretty noob about fediverse.
You and me both.
I don't know know if there's a good tool to list all instances that defederated yours. I often use lemmyverse.net to find new communities instead of relying on built in search. So if something doesn't open, I'd at least know something blocks or is blocked by my instance. Though that hasn't happened yet, probably because this instance is not toxic and also so small that no one even knows about it.