I'm not really down with this being presented as drama, it's unfortunate the way it played out but overall its their choice to defederate. We actively encourage other instances who forbid pornography to defederate from us. Lemmy.ml, sopuli, etc etc we are totally fine with, we have no malice or hate towards them because thats their choice and their reasons and concerns for doing so are more than legitimate especially with how limited lemmy is right now and the locations that they host their site at. We have open discussions with other instance admins and welcome discussions of their potential concerns, it's just we didn't really know what the concerns were beyond "this looks wrong because it looks wrong delete it" which made it extremely frustrating to try to figure out concisely what the problem was so we could address it.

My only issue is it being presented as if we are fine with CSAM, when we aren't and to be accused of that is extremely serious.