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Fellow auties, which do you find is a better and healthier fit for you: dating another autistic person or an NT? (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 months ago by BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
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I'm really confused about this. On one hand (โœ‹), I can see how dating an autistic person would be amazing because we would just understand each other on another level. We would get each other's emotions, meltdowns, joy, special interests, hyperfocus, communication style, etc. Also, there's no NT partner to miss whatever NT thing we don't bring to the relationship.

On the other hand (๐Ÿคš), we definitely have some deficiencies that NTs don't. Having an NT can help us regulate, keep us updated on social matters that we completely miss, take care of a baby that's wailing crying, and other strengths that we just don't have, while at the same time, we contribute with our own strengths that they don't have.

NTs, please feel free to contribute! Your opinion and experiences are important too ๐Ÿ™‚

I'd love to see a discussion on this topic. So what do you think?

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[-] savvywolf@pawb.social 8 points 8 months ago

If I may ask a related question, how important is neurotype compared to other things?

The double empathy problem is indeed a thing, but I wonder if it trumps other relationship needs.

Sure, you can both be autistic, but if you have no interests in common and just don't meet each other's relationship needs, then it likely isn't going to work.

And maybe it doesn't matter if two people don't share a neurotype if they understand each other and can work around each other's quirks. Supposedly there's a number of NT people that find info-dumping "cute".

[-] eighty@lemmy.one 5 points 8 months ago

I dated a NT who loved my rants. This was before I got my diagnosis. they're out there and I'd agree it's more about compatibility - just keep living your life and see who you come across :)

this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2024
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