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this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2024
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Autism
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Which ones of these are bad behavior?
Encouraging someone to do something doesn't mean them not doing it is bad. I can encourage you to try mayo instead of ketchup on your fries, without implying that you're an asshole for eating your fries with ketchup. Also, I'm pretty sure me saying "maybe you'd like fries with mayo if you tried it" isn't bullying. I faced a lot of these issues when I was younger, and while I don't think it works like that for everyone, I genuinely got over a bunch of them by just forcing myself to confront them.
The point stands that people should be less self-centred when it comes to what's 'normal', but some of the examples in the tweet come off as (ironically) quite judgemental.
It is kind of dehumanizing though, because who over the age of fifteen hasn’t yet experimented with various french fry sauces?
The presupposition here is that they didn’t try it.
Meltdowns often include bad behavior. If your meltdown includes slamming a door, cursing at someone, yelling in an inappropriate setting, disparaging someone else's preferences, choices, or lifestyle: that's bad behavior and someone calling that out, or excluding you from activities due to those behaviors isn't bullying no matter if that behavior can be explained by autism or not.
None of them are exactly bad behaviors. Just encouraging trying new things and effective self regulation as positive behaviors, is my point
Upholding the hegemony of neurotypicality as the "acceptable" way to be, and the encouraging of neurodiverse people to mask their (fine, unharmful) behaviours. Masking which actively harms them.
All this does is promote ongoing ableism. I beg that you read something about the experiences of autistic people and come to understand how marginalized and harmed they are by this continual shaming of these traits. Traits that are not harmful, or even uncommon. They're just different, and less normalized.
Thank you for your perspective, my intent isn’t to cause harm, so I will take your comments to heart
I liked this comment, and just as I upvoted it, it showed up as removed. Welp, too bad.
I had a moment like "why am I getting into this?" IDK. I just recall being frustrated when people show up and give me advice I don't want or need. And the advice is not helpful because they're a tourist in my life and I am a resident. "Don't mistake someone encouraging good behavior as bullying," no, just take that attitude all the way away from me, thanks.