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(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2024
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ADHD Women
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We have got to stop ascribing random common mental conditions with near-universal feelings.
“That autistic urge to throw your keys when you’re walking over a bridge”
“That OCD feeling when you’re walking by a friends candle and want to smell it”
That’s not anything! Those are just parts of being a person!!
So it's common for the majority of the population to have their complete day ruined by being able to solely hyperfocus on said appointment from the time they wake up, double-, triple- and quadruple check all things related to the appointment, still develop anxiety over the however improbable idea they might have forgotten something or "fuck up" the appointment (even if that's actually not possible) and spent the time after the appointment completely exhausted and unable to participate in any other activity, including actual relaxation?
That's (or similar effects) are what people with ADHD and related disorders actually experience. If that would be common, I don't think appointments would be scheduled the way they are. It's not hard to observe that neurotypical people don't have to think about and focus on their appointments with increasing dread for an unreasonable time before the actual appointments.
You are right, the Internet certainly has its share of people that love to self-diagnose and parade around mental disorders and downright illnesses like scout badges, but let's just assume this is a (albeit funny and "meme-y") support community for people that face actual struggles.
I cant tell if I have it or everyone has it. What percentage of the population is diagnosed?
There are estimates how common the disorder is among adults and children. Depending on how those are established, 2.5% to 5% seems like a probable range.
https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/adhd-statistics/
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0890856722001903
Just reading this excellent description makes my skin crawl.
I’ve checked my calendar three times to make sure I have no work or personal plans for the rest of the day. Feels good.
Literally yes
Care to expand? They made an effort to give you good arguments. The presented premise you "literally" accept is argued to not be possible. So, which is it?
Yes, a great deal of people do not like having appointments in the middle of the afternoon, and frequently check multiple times throughout the day to ensure they won’t be late, and still worry about somehow missing the appointment. That is just a normal thing. It is not a symptom of anything and especially not ADHD
Yeah it sounds like you're just describing general nervousness. That's not what is being talked about here. A simple half hour doctors appointment literally fucking cancels everything I wanted to do that day, it is exhausting to think about it.
Yeah, it’s like that way for most everyone
It's really not, and if you feel like that you might have ADHD
Whatever helps you
So sitting there staring at the clock until it's time for your appointment and being literally unable to do anything else until it's time to go while being terrified of being late or unprepared is normal? I mean I am literally unable to do anything even if I want to. I'm diagnosed ADHD and this is more than just checking your watch a lot. If you've never had executive dysfunction you're lucky. It doesn't make sense to people who don't experience it.
Yep. That’s normal.
If that's normal for you, maybe you should see a doctor about it. I assure you, as I have been reminded by neurotypical people all of my life, it isn't normal.
Troll's been banned, sorry you had to put up with him.
I don't know if you're arguing in bad faith here. If you are, I don't think either of us should waste our time.
What you are describing isn't close to what the issue is for some. You should be open to the idea that this can actually be a problem to a few, while being like what you describe, to most.
The difference in almost every diagnosed condition is severity of impact. In that sense, you are right, it is quite common to keep in mind a coming appointment and worry about not being late. It is quite normal, and not a symptom of anything and especially not ADHD.
But, surely you can, if only conceptually, accept that "worry" and the adverse effects, can vary in severity? When it reduces quality of life, that's when it starts becoming a disorder. Guess what the last D is short for, for many diagnoses? It's just a bunch of common negative traits grouped by some meaningful commonality and describes as a "disorder" when it acts as one.
Which brings me back to your seemingly callous disregard of people being different, which to be frank, sounds like a you-problem.
How most people function: like what you describe
How some people dysfunction, typically associated with ADHD: you cannot do shit, because you have an appointment later. It's not even "worry", "concern", or "anxiousness". It's simply an interruption in your day, that stops you from doing anything.
If you cannot see the difference between these two, then you lack either empathy or imagination. In either case, you do you.
What about wasting your time?
I see. Fuckwit it is. No surprise tbh, but nice enough of you to confirm it. Cheers.
Why is it bad for us to share our commonalities with each other? Especially when those things we are routinely told aren't normal or okay. We watch neurotypical people pass us by all the time. I personally missed so many appointments before I was medicated that I had lost several mental health professionals and probably spent around a thousand dollars in missed appointment fees over the years. The whole time it was treated like a personal failing of mine that mysteriously went away once I was properly medicated.
Knowing that other people experience that, that other people know how it feels, genuinely makes it easier. It also spreads awareness like "hey do you constantly miss appointments without intending to whatsoever? Maybe there's a reason why". I think that is objectively a good thing.
I think what he's getting at is that most of these symptoms aren't actual neuridivergeance, just people cosplaying to get sympathy likes.
Not saying I agree, just explaining.
You aren't helping anyone here, you're just acting like you know better than everyone else.
They're an actual victim, but they haven't realized it yet.
They genuinely believe that these things that are torturous to experience are "normal," and they've internalized the abuse they've received that these things are normal so hard that they're offended other people are commisserating over how awful these experiences are, because it implies that they themselves are also not "normal."
Pity them. They're white-knuckling their symptoms and can't even enjoy commisserating with others.
This and the keys thing are definitely not something the average neurotypical experiences on a day to day basis to a degree that it negatively affects their life and ability to function. Because that's how these mental conditions work, they don't have unique unheard of symptoms that no normal person will ever experience, they experience what neurotypical people occasionally experience, to a debilitating degree and/or at an excessive frequency. For someone with adhd this is an all consuming issue that happens every. Single. Time. You have an appointment, even if it's for an appointment you WANTED to happen that will only bring good things. That is not normal, and if it sounds normal to you, then you may want to book an appointment with your doctor.
Agreed. It's really annoying.