1085
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by _number8_@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

i can't stand megathreads -- no one reads these! no one wants their posts banished there!

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] Duranie@lemmy.film 13 points 1 year ago

Just throwing this out there, but while this is the direction you went to deal with the trauma you experienced, do you feel like it's the healthiest path? I have a loved one with PTSD from trauma. There are many ways to deal with it, but I dare guess that therapy (with the right therapist for you) may give you better, healthier tools.

I only wish you well, and hope you find peace.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

I’ve done plenty of therapy. The weapon is not to deal with the trauma, but to deal with the real possibility that someone bigger than me might decide I deserve a beating. If I disagree with that person, the only way to stop them is the weapon.

I don’t want to be traumatized again. I’m taking steps to arm myself because I now see what my naive non-exposure to violence allowed me to ignore: that the world is a place of danger where my body can be hurt by another human who decides to hurt my body.

The guy was only slightly bigger than me, but the fight was over in less than five seconds. After the fight was over, the beating began. A beating I was powerless to stop.

I carry a weapon for the purpose of being in charge of whether that ever happens to me.

The trauma I am dealing with through things that are effective with trauma.

The weapon is not a trauma treatment. It is a rational response to the danger of being around other people, just as a seat belt is a rational response to the danger of driving.

The difference between the danger of driving and the danger of being around people is that the danger of being around other people is horrifying. Not scary, not terrifying, but horrifying. It is deeply horrible to acknowledge that the people around you can turn into monsters, that they can become as deadly as a cobra or a spider.

We don’t feel this horror when contemplating the danger of cars, because we have no evolved instincts about cars. They’re mega dangerous, but we easily ignore that danger on a visceral level because we didn’t evolve in an environment where a toyota corolla might kill you.

We easily ignore the danger of people, ie we know it in our heads but not in our guts, just like with cars, but for a different reason. With humans the reason is that it’s horrifying knowledge. It’s dark, it’s ugly. It’s not something want to look at.

But once you are forced to look at it, eg like when you experience the violence yourself, you are forced to think about it. And if you think about it, it’s just as foolish and negligent to be around strangers without being armed, as it is to drive and not wear a seatbelt.

Before the encounter with violence, I was on the fence. I could see arguments both ways. Like “well, the weapon could stop an attacker but it could also be an unhealthy attachment …”.

But it’s no longer balanced for me. I’ve realized the danger of grievous injury or death is orders of magnitude more important than the potential I might get weird about the weapon.

Like, would you recommend a person avoid seat belts in order to avoid unhealthy coping with their trauma from a car accident?

The misconception with weapons is that they enable violence. But this guy was unarmed. All he had was some shoes. Other than that it was all just his body and his decision to hurt me.

[-] Shardikprime@lemmy.world -2 points 1 year ago

I love how well written and thoughtfully worded your response is, yet it's still downvoted by the ideologically impaired

[-] SCB@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

thoughtfully worded

This is a person who got his ass kicked once and now fears the entire world. If it wasn't thoughtfully worded, you'd see right through it for the absurd knee-jerk reaction it is.

[-] dragonflyteaparty@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Yeah, the reaction is pretty extreme and makes me sad that it seems like therapy didn't help them through it.

[-] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I don't see where or how being legally armed with reason is something absurd or extreme and invite you all to explain.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

It’s just too easy to buy into the “danger is a myth” mindset until you are forced out of it.

[-] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

I understand you brother. Hope things are much better now

this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2023
1085 points (93.5% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26903 readers
2025 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS