I don't want to spend hours making shitty bloated proprietary software but 99% of jobs seem to be like that.

It sure is. :(

I really don't care about applying for jobs

Unfortunately that's not going away in any other profession. Unless you're a unicorn and best friends with the hiring manager.

I hate just about every one of my classmates.

Sadly, that's the biggest boon about going to school is networking with people that can provide you an easy in at their workplace and hopefully life long friendships.

Your certifications aren't going to be all that helpful beyond meeting the checklist HR is following.

Is it possible to actually make a career in free software

People do make money off free software just look at Patreon. But they are the exception. Kernel development might be a in as well.

I just ditch out of tech and pick something else

You're in it too deep now in my opinion.

Fortunately database developer roles are in high demand if you can stomach SQL and whatever unique cloud solutions they are invested in.

Also, if you want to tame a beast COBOL developers are in high demand too.

If you think robots are cool check out embedded systems.